09 May 2011

We are back!

je t'aime

Hi all, we are back from vacation. We had a fantastic time... words can't explain.
I had the hardest time coming back (to reality? to home? life? what exactly?)...
I cried on the plane and I cried some more on the bus... I am not really "here" yet,
I am still somewhere in that land between time and space, resisting that stage of post-holiday settling
(ah, here is that word again... "settling"... it is, as ever, looming
in my future like a giant sword about to drop on me and slice me in two).

I have so much to tell you, I hardly know where to begin... I thought I'll just post
pictures over the next few days... from different places around Western Europe...
These above ones are from Ghent, Belgium and that last one is from Strasbourg,

Oh, I am in love, love, love... with Germany... with the Continent... and my family...
and I really want to take them all and move back home. Home, yes, there I said it.
It's home, and it always has been, and it always will be and I miss it like those
salmons do who, after years of swimming in the ocean, swim back to their
birthplace to die.

And thank you, thank you, sweet Deborah, for all the love. I heart you big time.
You have the best kiddie design blog out there, and I am not even exaggerating.
Merci chère!


Tracey said...

So glad you had the best time. There is nothing wrong with missing somewhere. I'm sure you'll find yourself to be in a position to go back there when the time is right.

I've missed your sweet posts. Can't wait to see more pics! xx

Kickcan & Conkers said...

It's always so hard to come back. I have lived in France for 24 years now but when I go "home" to the UK I wonder how an earth I could ever have left. It takes me a while to readjust and find my French self.

Thanks for all the inspiration. I look forward to seeing your photos!

Anonymous said...

You made me sad for you.
(I'm glad that in the end home will be same place for all of us)
But I do love you! and looking forward to some girls night out (or day).
Kisses to your sweethearts! (but not for J. you know. Just hello to him!)

Agata said...

yes, it's hard to come back. I feel the same now. I'm trying to find myself again after sweet holiday time with my family. I still don't know where is "home" maybe in our heart - when we feel happy and safe.
I whish you all the best.

the sleepy time gal said...

can't wait to see it all!

Annakaisa said...

I'm glad you had a wonderful trip, but also sad because I feel your pain. I know all too well what it is like to leave your home country over and over again. I too, cry every time I leave Finland. That is why I dream that someday I would be able to return with my family and live there.
I don't think that one who immigrates to another country, ever really gets rid of the "ghost" of the past life in another world. We always, more or less, yearn back.

Nina said...

Aber es hat doch auch was schönes zurück zu sein, oder nicht? Dort wo ihr euer zuhause habt. Du und deine "neue" Familie. Ich finde man ist dort "zuhause" wo man sich gerade aufhält. Das hat mal jemand im Fernsehn gesagt und ich fand diese Einstellung sehr gut. Meine Heimat ist auch nicht hier, wo ich jetzt zuhause bin, aber das macht mir schon lange nichts mehr aus. Klar hin und wieder in Gedanken... aber nichts ernstzunehmendes. Du bist immernoch auf der Erde - denk daran ;).

Und ja... reisen ist auch was tolles. Ich freue mich schon auf nächstes Jahr, wenn wir auch wieder wegfahren wollen. Dieses Jahr stehen aber zu viele andere Projekte auf dem Plan.

Halte dir mal den 1. Oktober frei. Da soll ein Fest geben, für welches noch Blumenkinder gesucht werden ;).

chaton de luxe said...

What beautiful pictures! and then I find out some of them have been taken in belgium ... I love love love the one with the waterdrops!!! I was supposed to go to Ghent last week but in the end my meeting got cancelled ... wouldn't it have been funny to run into each other! you must let me know next time you come over! axxx

sarafiina said...

I'm glad you had a wonderful vacation! And I feel for you, sweetie. We need to meet up :)

soisses-dasleben said...

schön dass es dir gefallen hat! deine bilder sind wieder der oberhammer.

Unknown said...

Yay! Welcome back! Oh.. I know how you feel though not exactly with missing home. As I am still 'home'.. in my native land. Your photos as always, are beautiful and can't wait to see more. Hopefully you will take your time and adjust to life in real time again. : )

Pamela said...

I sort of feel the same every time i visit "home". I try to tell myself it's a good feeling.

I often get this strange feeling that I really have no control over my life. That I am slowly turning into my mother, returning to the beginning to somehow re-live her life... Crazy. :)

Good to have you back. Hugs!

Vi said...

Nice to have you back!
Home is a very weak word, isn't it? I cannot exactly tell where my home is, but I know the very place my heart is longing for (not in a 'home-ish' way, though, sometimes I think it's just nostalgia - even returning would mean to build up a whole new life...).

Isa said...

chaton de luxe, I was thinking of you the whole time I was there, wondering if I might run into you! Thaty would have been wonderful. Next time for sure!

Anonymous said...

I wish I could have the same feeling with you. Sometimes I had it, for a moment, and it passed when I visited my "home country".

In my case years abroad made me like "native foreigner". It would be so much easier and socially accetable if I longed for my "home country" and "roots".

It's scary to feel emptiness and desire to walk away from my "own people".

You just proofed you are normal :)

I hope you soon have a chance to be in a place you could call home. It seems to me that you are emotionally preparing yourself to move away from Finland in the future. I was going through similar process when we moved away from country B to country C. Suddenly I just didn't feel myself home anymore there and very soon after that I found out that we were going to move anyway (job transfer).

All the best to you, girl!