Motherhood.

I woke up today, as I have been, in a puddle of my own milk and baby throw-up, in the two centimeters of space allocated to me in our bed. One of my breasts was hanging out of my nursing bra, somewhat uncomfortably, a tiny baby suckling on it. The other baby, the big one, had her hands wrapped around my neck, possessively, and I had a bit of a hard time breathing.

And then I looked at the two of them sleeping, and the most intense feeling of peace and love and joy rushed over me.

Motherhood. That obscure point between sheer exhaustion and pure bliss.

Thank you, my darlings, for letting me know true happiness.

Some links...

... picturing motherhood. Beautiful.
... Fé and Sisie need this hat.
... I am making something like this for the princess quarters.
... I like this wallpaper (via design files).
... doors and windows.... sigh.
... we are cooking this on Sunday.

Happy weekend!

bad day good day

We are ready to be done with being sick. Thank heavens for books and little angels.

Sunshine Award :)

I received this award the other day from Ieva Jansone of dinge die ich mag. The fact that she would give me an award is kind of... well, I can't find the right words... it's... overwhelming! I am just really honored. Because, you see, Ieva is one of the most inspiring women I've come across in the blog world. She runs an incredible blog. And she is an amazing, and I mean, AMAZING, photographer. You can see her pictures on her website here. They capture truth, the simplicity and beauty of life, at a time when so many photos of people and things are photoshopped and/or staged to a point where their very essence is lost. And I'm saving up some money so I can buy some things from her beautiful store. Like these wooden toy cameras for children... aren't they cute? Oh, and she keeps a record of her four-year old son's artwork here. Thank you, Ieva! :)

And now... drumroll... I'm passing this on to Suvi of lapset nukkuu, master scrapbooker and wonderful mother of three, who always brings sunshine to the people around her. (And whose name literally means merryweather... ).

Anime And The Best Cookies Ever.

The weekend hasn't been easy, but we have survived. Fé seems to be doing better today, and we even managed to get some sleep. Children are brave. It makes me cry.

There wasn't much we could do, so we ate raspberry sorbet and watched Japanese anime... Fé's favorites are this and this and this. (Mine is this one.)

We baked a little, too. I am not a big cookie and biscuit fan, but when I saw this recipe, I couldn't resist. Chocolate-Pistachio-Lemon Cookies. They are dairy- and gluten-free. And they are the best cookies I have ever had. Really. You must try. I honestly think I'll never bake cookies other than these.

Here is the recipe in English (using European measurements):

1 dl dark chocolate (buy dairy-free, if you want)

about 15 pistachios, peeled and unsalted

peel of one organic lemon

125 g (dairy-free) margarine, at room temperature

1 1/2 dl sugar

1 egg

2 1/2 dl rice flour

1 tsp baking powder

1. preheat oven to 180 degrees. 2. chop the chocolate and the pistachios with a knife. 3. chop the lemon peel. 4. Beat the margarine and the sugar with an electric mixer. 5. Beat the egg into the mix. 6. Combine the rice flour and the baking powder and add to the mix. Beat. 7. Stir the chocolate, the pistachios and the lemon peel into the dough. 8. With the help of a table spoon, place the dough onto a baking sheet in little heaps, forming cookie shapes. 9. Bake for 15 minutes. 

Phew... a new week. Our renovation is starting today. Handymen all over.

Mirror, mirror on the wall

... who is the most beautiful of all...

"Mom, why did you paint red spots on me during the night?"

The Big Miss has what's called windpox ("Windpocken") in German, waterpox ("vesirokko") in Finnish, and chickenpox in English. This morning, we had the realization that she won't be able to participate in her first ever dance recital this weekend. The one that she has been talking about and looking forward to for months.

I think those pox need a new name: meanpox.

big girl

Tell me, when did Fé get so gigantic?! Ever since Sisie was born, she feels and looks so much bigger to me, somehow. I swear she has grown by a whole meter... Her legs stretch on for miles, her hands and feet are HUGE, and her head feels so hard somehow, all of a sudden. She was always my little baby, and now, within a few weeks, voilà, she is a big girl. A big girl who tells me it's time for her to go to kindergarten, as all the other kids do. Help! I want to stop time!

Finland: Porvoo

I love doors and windows.

When I was a young teenager, before we moved to Finland, before I even knew where Finland was really, I took dance lessons at the one and only dance school my town had to offer. Well, it wasn't a "school" as much as one mirrored room. I would walk there, to the other side of town, every Wednesday. It was a 30-minute walk, which isn't too bad, I know, but it felt like a hundred kilometers to me at the time. (And yes, I could have taken the bus, but back then I was too shy to take a bus all by myself. Plus, I was always out of cash. Haha, some things change, some things don't).

Anyway, what I did during that one hour of walking every Wednesday was to peek into the homes of fellow Lintorfers. I'd look through their windows... or the slits of their doors left open... and I'd see families celebrating a child's birthday... or an elderly couple watching TV...and a lot of times... nothing. People don't spend that much time at home these days.

I still do it. I steel peek into other people's homes. Is that creepy? Maybe. But I can't help it. It fascinates me. :)

So. For this reason I love doors and windows. What lies behind them...?

Finland has incredibly fascinating doors and windows, I think. They can be surprisingly colorful, and old, and wooden. I think one could analyze an entire nation based on their doors and windows. Maybe somebody should travel the world and take pictures of the doors and windows he or she finds along the way. And make a book out of it. I would buy it!

On Thursday we went to Porvoo, a little town about  a 40-minute drive outside Helsinki, with a picturesque Old Town. These are some Porvoo doors and windows. Aren't they beautiful? I wish I'd know what goes on behind them.

Maybe I'll take pictures of Finnish doors and windows in different Finnish towns this summer. That might be a nice little project. And a  nice way for me to get to know Finland better. :)

Which one is your favorite door? I like the first one, the red house. So romantic. It was on a beautiful hill, overlooking a lake...

... or the blue-white-yellow one, with no stairs leading up to it. How strange!

Happy weekend!

A Play Shed

Every little girl should have a girly play shed, don't you think? Thanks to our little neighborhood community, Fé gets to have this one. Isn't it magical?

The Miss and I had a tea party here this morning. We had pink tea with a side of golden cookies and lots of giggles. There is nothing like a morning in a sparkly play shed with your girls!

PS I have imported my old blog posts to this blog. The links aren't working yet, but I'm working on fixing it. :)